Jeremiah 29:11

2007-04-12T11:32:00.000-07:00

Driving!

Ok, So here is the deal, I have not written about my driving experiances in a while! Well, now is the time, cuase I just need to get it out of me to see if it will make things better.

For the past little while, things have been comming up and I have not been able to get driving that much! It is on both ends, not just busyness with school or what not! We finally had a lesson booked for today, April 12th and one for this comming saterday! Well, what happened? I paniked, and I froze! I didn't even make it out of the driveway! I near almost started crying before he even showed up, even while my roomate was praying for me, I felt like I could not breath! I was so tired I almost fell asleep during the last class of the day, which was 15 minnutes before my lesson was suppose to be! We discussed it and agreed that it would be best to wait, till Saturday! Part of me is so relieved. The other side of me is angry at myself! I should not have let my tiredness stop me! Well maybe, I don't know! I feel like I just went backwards, I have not been this afraid to get behind the wheel of a car in a while! I lost my courage, and my strength! The last few times they have been cnaceled it has been a relief! and like a weight has been lifted! Am I running away from it, probrably, why, not so sure!

I was stupid to leave it till my last semester of college! But there is nothing I can do to change it! I know there is no way I can get the rest of my lessons in by the time I graduate! Which was the original goal I had! And becuase that I know I don't have enough time, I feel like I am giving up, which is stupid! I am starting to worry about how I can finish this! some people think it has been a waste of time and money for me to do this course, becuase I can't finish it here! I can transfer, but it seems to be such an inconveniance to everyone who is concerned! And becuase others think it was a waste, and those others are close to me and I usually am affected by what they say, I think I am using that as a reason for running! I really don't know!

Please pray that I find it deep within me to fallow through, not to stop, to over come this fear. to stop running and just do it! thanks for reading my vent!

2007-04-08T10:37:00.000-07:00

The RISEN LORD!!!!!!!

Praise the LORD oh my soul, Praise the LORD!!!! We have been given such an amazing and awsome gift! We have been given the gift of life!!!! Today, being Easter Sunday, we remember the reserection of our LORD Jesus Christ! John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." We have new life, becuase of the Gift of God's Son, and how he sacraficed his life for us! And through that new life, we have FREEDOM and we have VICTORY!!!!! we need to step out, and claim it, and walk in it! It is one thing for it to be head knowledge, but we need it to be heart knowledge! read the lyrics to this song: I AM FREE!
Through You the blind will see
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise
Through You our hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams I am free
I am free

Chorus:
I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for You
(I am free to live for You)
I am free
(I am free)
Yes, I am free
(I am free)

Through You the kingdom's come
Through You the battle's won
Through You I'm not afraid
Through You the price is paid
Through You there's victory
Because of You my heart screams I am free
I am free

we serve a God who brings us freedom! we serve a God who has one the victory for us! And when we get weary, and when we feel like we are in bondage he still fights for us, he interceeds for us! He never lets go, no matter what, he never lets go of us, he will even carry us when we feel to weak. Isaiah 40:31"those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

SO PUT YOUR HOPE IN JESUS...WALK IN THE FREEDOM THAT COMES THROUGH JESUS!!! STEP INTO THE VICTORY THAT HE HAS GIVEN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jesus, Thank you for your gift of life to us, thank you for freedom and victory, thank you for your love! Thank You Thank you THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-29T19:18:00.000-07:00

MIXED FEELINGS!!!!

Ok, So I have 1 month left to college. It has been three years sense I have started on my jurney at Taylor College, and let me assure you there have been up's and down's and yet through and through it has been an amazing experiance and totally worth it. And it is pretty neet for me to think that at my age I could know God's Call on my life. It is funny cuase usually by this time of the year I am ready to be done placement, and done school, and all that stuff, and I have never been really attatched to my previous placements, however this year, I am SO attatched to everyone at my placement. Even in Res, this year has been by far the best of the three years (no offence to the other years) So I have been trying really hard not to think about leaving. leaving placement, leaving res, leaving my fellow students who has traveled on this journey with me for either 2 or 3 years. The last three years has trained me to a point where I am ready to go. I am ready to enter into full time ministry and I am excited about where God is calling me, even if it means giving things up, and yet at the same time, when I think about leaving, I get so overwhelmed with emotion. My classmates, roomates, good friends, and even my placement has totally become a family to and for me! And to think of leaving them is one I can't stand to think about! I feel like when I leave my heart will brake in many different peices and one peice will stay with all those who have my heart. I know it is normal to be going through this, my intention in wrighting this was to see if wrighting it out would help me clear my head and try to make sense of just how I am feeling so I can deal with it, and end this year strong!

2007-03-25T09:23:00.000-07:00

Deep Inward Battle!

Hey guys, Anyone who reads this, I am asking you to lift me up in your prayers. right now it is even hard for me to write this, cuase it means I have to be vounarible and admit that I am struggeling and fighting a fight that has been going on for a while, and lately seems to be deepening/worsening! I don't really want to get into whats going on, I am just asking for your prayers, cause I am tired, reall tired, of everything especially fighting this inner battle, I just want to be free from it, I want it to be over!

2007-02-24T15:32:00.000-08:00

Success

Oh Man, Today I had my third Driving lesson! I had requested another driver, just to see if it would make a difference. The girls prayed for me before I left, I started to cry, just a little, and Jessie got me to say I will drive with confidence, to which I said it and she was not convinced, so I screamed it and kinda scared the girls a little! Then My instructor showed up, and I just told him point blank how I felt and that I was hoping to go on some back roads and somewhere with not two many intersections. He said we could do that, but in order to do that he had to take me through a few intersections, so I would come out of my comfort zone a little but he would be right there and not leaving me. So he was REALLY assuring! The first thing we discovered is that I was two short, and sense the wheel was as low as it could go, I had to sit on a phone book to prop me up! It really did make a difference though. I managed to successfully back up, a couple of times. And I finally was able to steer. He only had to correct me a couple of times, and it was very gently. He was affirming me the whole time. We chatted, and just connected. I decided he is going to be my main instructor from now on! It was so great. I came in actually feeling excited, I was smiling from ear to ear! My parents could tell it went well because I was so happy when I talked with them. Thanks all of you, for all your prayers, and believing that I drive, even when I did not believe in myself! you can still pray for me and it would mean allot!

2007-02-23T17:21:00.000-08:00

Shrek Quiz

You scored as Princess Fiona. You are Princess Fiona. You are beutiful on the inside, and the ones you love the most can see past your face.

Dragon

71%

Shrek

71%

Princess Fiona

71%

Donkey

42%

Lord Farquaad

Which Shrek character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

2007-02-17T12:38:00.000-08:00

Driving Lesson # 2

Today I had my second driving lesson today! It ended with me leaving the cars in tears. I paniced, completly and totally. Every time I saw a car comming toward me i would jerk the wheel, to which my instructer would constantly tell me. then he would have to keep telling me to either speed up or slow down, I could never get the right speed, um, I kept doing my turns wrong. I had a bad habit of driving with my hand near the signal light, and I would just turn it on when I did not need two. He said to me, he didn't know why I kept doing the three things he told me not to do! Finally 45 minnutes into the lesson he told me to pull into a parking lot. And switch sides. He said that I paniced, and he does not let panicy people drive cause they crash the car, and he is not letting that happen. Everytime I messed up hre would keep telling me I was putting my self at high-risk for getting rear-ended. As well as becuase of one of my stops at an intersection I caused another car to make a qwick lane change. He told me I kept turning my wheel to much and hard during turns. As well as when I am trying to look straight ahead, I am looking at the line on the road, instead of ahead, and it caused me to go not strait, and he said I would not be able to tell if there was a turn in the road until it was to late. I am so tense and uptight. Jessie saw I was crying the momement I got out of the car. So she met me at the top of the stairs and let me cry, all the time reminding me to breath, becuase I was so shaken I started to hyperventalate, I swore I couldn't do it and did not want to get behind the wheel of a car again. (sound familiar) Hilary got me to drink water, and I found that concentrating on drinking aloud me to breath normaly again, which is good. But even with that I still cried really hard for close to 40 minnutes. It is insane. The girls kept getting me to repeat the phrase "I will get behind the wheel again" until I had convinced them, and then tried to believe it myself. I just am finding it hard to grasp the idea that other people believe I can do it and I will do it, when I don't see it myself. (I know I am probrably being to hard on myslef) Anyway, I and ask you to pray that this would not stop me, but I would learn from this and me motivated to change, pray that I would be able to revcieve God's peace, and that I would remember to be kind to myself instead of being extremly hard on myself. thanks for reading this.

2007-02-11T18:13:00.000-08:00

Driving school Part 3

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ok now that is out, let me write! While my class room hours are done and over with, I now have ten hours of actual driving! Today was my first lesson! I got my roomate to pray for me before I went out cause I felt really overwellmed! I got in the car with my instructor and we almost immedatly set up four more lessons and so things are moving quickly...to qwickly for comfort. He did a demonstration drive pointing out some things I should be aware of, as well as talking me through left and right hand turns. then we went to Mcallister mall parking lot where we did a circle check went over some basics like ajusting my seat and what not, and then how to ajust the meriors. He then got in the car and got me to turn the key but not turn on the car, we went over the lights that lit up on the dash bored. there was 4 and I knew 1 maybe 2 of them...It kind of frusterated me! I like the car I am driving in because it has alot of extra cool features. Then, it was time for me to drive. Man it was crazy! I can't believe it! I felt numb...Once we got on the road I actually said I can't believe I am actually driving, to which he said yes you are but you are about to hit the car, and then I jsut could not get the hang of how much to turn the wheel, cause a few times I went over the line and he had to take the wheel and guide me back! I did the lane change ok, which was good! And then I turned back onto Mountain view ok as well. ther was one pot hole on the street, to which as I tryed to avoid ended up driving right through it! He got me to sgnal left and I put the right signal light on instead. He got me to turn right into the resadence and I turned sucessfully remembering the hand over hand thing he taught me, but started to recover to quickly, and when he told me I paniced and I went to hit the brake, but never i hit the gas, which freaked me right out, he used his brake to stop me! I kept mixing up the brake and gas, so not good! And then he got me to back into the driveway, which with some instruction was able to do succsessfully! He got me to park and pull back the seat, then he said he was going to get me to do one last thing, when I asked him what it was, he looked at me and said breath!! so that was my first experiance driving...on a road...with other cars...comming towards me and in front and behind me! I walked in the house and screamed and then proceeded to tell the girls about my lesson...I then went into shock not knowing what to think or how to feel, I was shaky! I went to church and as soon as worship started I broke down and ended up crying most of the service! Anyway, enough venting...I am off!

2007-02-10T20:07:00.000-08:00

Where you go I will go/ No Sacrifice

These are the names of two songs that have really became my prayers for the past while. they speak to the path I have been walking for a while!

No Sacrifice Lyrics:
To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to
To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to

Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

To you I give the gifts
Your love has given me
How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free?

Because
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is staronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

To you I give my future
As long as it may last
To you I give my present
To you I give my past

Because
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

Where you go, I will go Lyrics:
where you go i go, what you say i say, what you pray i pray, what you pray i pray

Jesus only did what he say you do, he would only say what he heard you speak, he would only move when he felt you lead, following your spirit

how could i exepct to walk without you, when every move that Jesus made was in surrender, i will not begin to live without you, for you alone are worthy and you are always good.

though the world sees and soon forgets, we will not forget who you are and what you've done for us".

Why has these songs ment so much to me? well, they just speak so much into the "season" I am walking in right now! In a little over two months I will graduate from Taylor College, and please God also be commisioned with Church Army. And so, for the past while, more speciffically this intire month, I have really been strugeling to lay down my plans, for God's plans. I know God's plan's are so much better then mine, it is just difficult because I care so much about where I am at now. A few weeks back I attended a Deliverance service, and one of the songs played was No Sacrifice. As soon as the song was being played I began to weep, and there was NO way I could sing that song that night. When I finally managed to get words to come out of my mouth, it was no more than a wisper, and that night, the song No Sacrifice became a prayer that came from Deep Within, instead of just one of those songs I really liked hearing.

As for the song Where You Go I'll Go, well, that is what I ultimatly want, to go were God wants me to Go, to speak what he is asking me to speak, and to pray what he has asked me to pray! And well, once one surrenders their dreams and future , and even their past and present, it is ALOT easier to say Yes and Amen to everything God has for me. Once I trust him compleatly, it will be easier to have the boldness needed to speak what God has asked me to!

Father God, I pray that you would continually help me surender my plans and hopes and dreams, and help me to leave them with you, and trust You in the plans You have for me. I pray that I would trust You so much, I would be able to step out, and do what you have called me to do, I pray I would not be held back by eartly comfort, but would alow God to be my comfort, my rock, my fortress, my sheild, my joy and strength. I am once again laying down my life, my agenda, take my life and let it be, concecrated Lord for Three! In Jesus Name, Amen!

2007-02-06T14:10:00.000-08:00

A Day of Rest!

How many of you blog readers out there actually take a day of rest? I know I don't, at least not as much as i should anyways! Even when i take a day to rest I end up working on assignments! I never really saw anything wrong with it, till I got this cold! I have been pushing myself to keep going, and as a result the cold has not gotten better. finally today after hearing from amny people I need to rest I called my placement and seen if I could not come in, which they agreed with! So I have been resting for the whole day! I have not even worked on pappers, just rested! I know I should be making the best of my time, but I will get back into the swing of things tomorow, and hopefully this one day of rest will be what my body needed to overcome this cold!

2007-02-06T13:31:00.000-08:00

Driving School part two!

So this past weekend I went back for my second week of driving school training! It was a little more intence then the first weekend! I actually really strugeled! The information was common sence and all, but I just started freaking out. He gave us this worksheet where it was written out senerios, and we had to tell how these vehicles could have avoided the crashes! I knew the habits and sub-habits and yet I could not seem to place them with the senerio, I got even more frusterated when the instructor told us our final test would be the same thing! I started to freak out and panic, I knew I needed a 70% and I started to feel like I could not get it, no matter how much I studied! when I got home I was in a rut, I ended up lying down in the fetal position and just crying for a while! I like that my roomates are understanding and who stand by you! Because they got me through! Sunday was a little easier! But still I was freaked! I am afraid that any wrong mve behind the wheel could take a life! Or hurt someone! Or cause an accidant. I think part of it might have been as part of out training we reviewd worse case senerios. Now here I am two days after classes ended, and thinking rationally again! I still feel uneasy about going driving for the first time, but I have a few more days to prepare for it! My lesson was suppose to be friday, but they called today and asked if I could change it, so now it is not till 4:30 on sunday! So it should be good!

2007-01-27T19:21:00.000-08:00

Driving School

Today I started my course with young drivers. I am not completly sure that it has even fully sunk in less then a month I have made large steps in getting my licence. I never really saw my self as a driver before. When I lived in Newfoundland, the town I lived in or most I visted, I could walk where ever I needed, so I never really had much of an intrest. And always felt like I did not have the ability to drive. When I got accepted to Taylor college I knew I would soon have to get my licence, finally this past May, I got my permit, and I kinda got excited about driving, but then I could never get out when I was home, and I was tired of not doing anything about it, so as a result, I am now in drving school in Saint John, and because I have had my drivers permit for more then four months, if I try really hard I can have my licence at the end of febuary. It is crazy, and a little scary, but good! I actually enjoyed the classroom today more then I thought I would, he showed us a few neet tricks to try to explain things so we could understand, and those are the things I will remember. I told him I have hardly driven before, and had a hard time steering, AKA Ireally can't drive, and he said no problem, thats what they are there for, and they are use to it! Anyway I will keep you all updated on how it is all going. I still say stay off the sidewalks for the first while after I get to go on the road! LOL! And as Christian has said many times tonight...Jesus Take The Wheel!

2007-01-24T09:58:00.000-08:00

What is Worship?

Worship is not just music. While music is a style or part of worship, it is not the only part. Worship is a lifestyle. If wporship was just music then those who were not musical could not worship. I went to a conference this weekend, and that’s one of the things that were spoken on. And then, over the next couple of days, we experienced many different forms of worship. A lot of was done in silence, or at least it felt that way! ON the first night we were divided up into three groups, one would read Psalms one would offer God thanksgiving, and I think the other one was surrender, (maybe really don’t remember) and then we would switch so we got to do all three. And when it came time to have communion we were asked to reflect on it and only take it when we were ready. We were shown a way to really reflect on scripture, well one way anyway because there are different ways. Um, we also had a creative session, where you could create something, out of different things, you could mould things from play-doe, you could paint, people could play music if they wanted, or you could Wright, so all different things to do. We also had a talk about community, kind of like finding God through others (sorry gray I remember the talk but not the name of the session) and then the last was worship with or through music. By the end of the weekend I did appreciate it all, I really missed the music, but knew it was good for me. I did have a difficult time with it, but it was because as God was speaking to me, I felt convicted of different things, which while it is good, because it is then that God and I can change things, it was also crappy while I was going through it. With all that being said I still feel my favorite way to worship is with music!

2007-01-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

My Nan!
Ok guys, I have not been giving updates on my nan, and it is time I do so, so here it goes. One of my Joys over Christmas was getting to see my nan, and I was so glad that despite everything she went through, she still looks like nan!

She finally had her surgy in the early part of December, and they did not even have to cut her open, they were able to do the whole thing Microscopically. Good right? well yah it looked that way at first, but then she got high fevers, and the suspected another infection :( But it was not, well kinda, turns out she caught Pnemonia. She finally got out of the hospital, a little longer then we exspected, but she got out.

Then my parents brought her to Gander when they came to pick me up, she went there cause my aunt wanted her to spend Christmas there. And two things happened while she was out there. The first was she caught a cold, which she had for the rest of the time I was home. Second, and sorry for the gross details, but second was she thinks there was a complacation in the surgry, and she thnks they some how went two far and they got her bowals in a knot of some sort, which gives her bad cramps. It has turned her off from food, and she has lost 20 to 30 pounds sence the infection.

I have also noticed she is more confused and agravated as well. The confusion could possibly come from the fact that she is just getting older. as for the agravation I can understand it, but I can also see my family's view. they treat her like she is going to brake at any minnute, so she has no independance and freedom anymore which she is use to having, I can only imagine how frusterating that must be! But at the same time, I can see why my family does it, it is cause she is still not 100% and they want her to be careful.

Two days before I left she went for bloodwork so we are now waiting to see what that has to say! Then a few days ago, she went home, to her own home for the first time in almost four months. thanks to all of you for your prayers during these past few months for my nan and my family during this difficult time!

2007-01-14T16:48:00.000-08:00

My Chrsitmas!

Hey all you bloggers, sorry I have not updated my blog in a long time, I will try to better at keeping it updated this term . I have decided to blog about my Christmas Brake, becuase I know I was concerned about it, and alot of people had been praying for me, so it is only right that I let you all know how it went.

FIRST I have to say, THANK YOU SO MUCH For Praying, becuase Prayer is amazing and awsome and works. I was really concerned about drinking while I was home, I don't have a problem with having the occasional drink, nor do I have a problem if other Christians drink, I mean the bible tells us not to get DRUNK, anyway, it has something I have struggeled with for a long time. Thats becasue there were many many times when I would go to have a drink, and not stoped at one, not that I would get drunk, but it was still just a little two much, and it seemed that when I was around my family it was harder. This term I realized that one of my biggist fears is that I can't stop after one drink, and that one day may fall into the same trap as some of my exstended family. It was hard for me to face it, I knew It would most likely never happen, but it was a fear none the less. Every time I would have a drink with my family, or the times I would really want to have a drink, I had to ask my self why I was doing it. So with this revelation of how I was thinking and feeling, I KNEW I could not drink when I went home, for my own health. So I got prayer, alot of prayer, and I prayed alot. When I got home I noticed that the amount my family was drinking seemed to have decressed, which was such a joy, AND my family seemed more supportive of me not drinking which was so great, and they bought me juice to drink while the rest of my family were having other beverages. So during my intire time home i had one drink, that was when we were all out at a resturant for supper.

The other thing that happened during Christmas is there was healing, but not with who I would have thought. there was healing between me and my mom. I can't really explain it, but it was awsome, cause there was a deeper understanding between us, I always felt she never understood me or she didn't believe me, but I found out she did understand me, and i finally started to see her side of things. I realised that I was not the only one hurt.

If I had to sit here and wright everything that happened over my Christmas brake the blog would be way to long to read, so I will end it now. Once again thanks for your prayers, they really made a differance.

2006-12-24T05:04:00.000-08:00

MSN

Hey everyone. I have managed to sign on to my msn. However, now I can't seem to sign off...the little menue you have to bring down to change your status will not come down, dad says it is like that with all the menues on the computer, so no idea whats going on! So anyway, the main reason I am posting this is to say if you are trying to talk to me and I don't respondd, I am not being rude, I am just not there, or someone else is one the computer!

2006-12-22T04:15:00.000-08:00

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!

Just wanted to say to every one who read my blog, A very Merry Christmas, and a happy new year! I originaly thought that I was heading out at five and then I double checked my flight, and it leaves 3:50 (sorry reed, looks like I am leaving early {will I ever learn}) anyway, hope you all have a blessed christmas and a happy new year! Take Care and God Bless, this christmas season!

2006-12-09T20:09:00.000-08:00

True love, True family!

Tonight, I experienced something really special, though for the first few minutes it happened, I may not have said it was special, it really was. Tonight, I almost took a fall, not a literal one, but a spiritual one. Ever herd the saying Old habits die hard? Well that is defiantly true in my case. Tonight, just before I was about to fall back into one of my old ways, my roommates confronted me about it. At first I did not want to hear what they were saying, I wanted to believe I could do this without being affected. But as I sat and listed I really began to understand what they were saying, and I cried so hard and for a really long time. I couldn’t believe how close I had come to doing the one thing I have tried so hard to stay away from. I could not believe that these girls would love and care for me so much that they would do something my biological family would not do, they would protect me by holding me accountable, and they would do it in a loving way! And then they prayed with me! Through this, I just felt so loved. I felt more and more like this is my family, not my parents back in Newfoundland. Through this some of my deepest fears came out. Through this I was reminded of why I was trying to stay away from it in the beginning. But most of all, through all of this I just felt loved, not just an “oh I will love you cause I have to love” but true genuine caring love. The kind of love you see when you see Jesus loving through others. And, it was the type of love that one may see in a family. So I just want to thank God for these girls, who love me for who I am, the way Jesus would. And who love me enough that they do not want to watch me fall. So thanks! True love, True family!

2006-12-07T10:16:00.000-08:00

Burn me up God!

Oh how I desire for there be less of me and more of God. I don’t want to be Luke warm any more.

Revelation 3:16 “So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

You are the potter I m the clay. Oh God shape me and mold me. No more of me. Help me to live by the spirit.

Romans 8:10-11 “But if Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.”

God break me. Brake off the masks; brake off the roles; spit on me…allow me to see only the things you want me to see! May I be of the world but not in it! God break the lies. Break the chains.

Help me to walk in the truth, and live out the truth. May my words and actions line up. I want to be a burning fire for you. God let me be a vessel of your love. Your truth. May the words I speak be only of You! God please increase in my life. Give me a burning desire and passion to always go deeper, and to be closer to You! Help me to be thankful for what you have done in me so far, but yet never satisfied, always wanting to go deeper, to know more. Discipline me…wake me up early to spend time with you! Give me YOUR heart! Help me to be raw, open, honest and just completely real! Keep me on a short leash. The moment I begin to stray from your straight and narrow path draw me back onto the road. Never let go of your child!

2006-12-07T09:51:00.000-08:00

Bring them back, Call them home!

As I write this blog, my heart brakes, and I long to see people turning back to their heavenly father. It breaks my heart to think about those people who once had a relationship with Jesus, and now has just walked away from that. How? What happens? I see these people and see how they are not really happy, and how they are trying to hide things, and it makes my heart break even more! Bring them back to you! Call home the prodigals! Reach out and grab hold of them, and never let go till they are once again in relationship with you! God restore and reconcile there relationships. Put people in their lives that will be a shinning light for you! May they encounter you in such a way that they would not be able to turn away from you. I pray that those things they do to seek pleasure, Lord would you give them such dissatisfaction in that! May they only find pleasure and contentment in You! God I also pray that you would give us, your heart for these people, that you would give us a strong desire to see them come home, and you would just burn it in our hearts to intercede for them with fervent unceasing prayer. God, would you reveal the lies, break them God, set them free! Fill them with YOUR truth, YOUR love, Reveal to them who they are in you. God you created them, you know them better then I could ever know them, you know them better then they know themselves. So minister to them is such a way that would touch and begin to heal even the deepest and darkest hurts and wounds. Let them know there is nowhere they could go, where you are not there! My heart has not been this broken over back slidden friends for a while, so please please join with me in praying for those who we know who don’t know God!

2006-12-01T05:11:00.000-08:00

His Mercy’s are new every morning.

This has been really really real and true to me this week. This has been a week of really knowing and feeling God’s love in a new and deeper way. Tuesday night was a hard night for me. I was extremely over tired and had come off of caffeine high, and so when I crashed I crashed hard. I have not broke down like that for a while, however, with that being said, that night, in the midst of my brokenness, and not giving up, but putting worship music on and letting the words just wash over me. And as I let the words of the music wash over me, All I could feel was love, though there was no other person in the room, I felt consumed by love, and like I was being held. It was an amazing feeling that I don’t think I can fully explain. Then latter that night God gave me a picture, as one of my roommates where praying with me, and the picture was of this hand holding a needle and thread, and mending the pieces of my broken heart together. It was amazing and gave me such hope, and it caused my heart to stop hurting physically. Then the next morning I woke feeling fresh, and so filled with deep deep peace, and love. As I was on my way to placement there was a talk on 96.1 (the Christian radio station) and I only caught the end of it but it was saying this…if you’re lonely you need friends, if you are cold you need a coat, if you are hungry you need food, but if you are broken you need God! This is SO true. It reminded me that in our brokenness God will never leave us, and He is the only one that can heal us, and make us whole again! As well as for all of yesterday, especially in the afternoon and most of the evening, I was filled with His Joy! My jaws hurt from smiling so much, and I could not stop laughing! Even today, I am still giggly, it is at little stupid things, but giggly none the less! In all of this, it just reminds me of how gracious our God really is, and how He is so merciful to us! Be encouraged because tomorrow is a new day, and He is waiting for you, with his arms of unconditional love waiting for you! Waiting to pour out His love, grace and mercy over you!

2006-11-27T15:16:00.000-08:00

Roles:

I have always loved acting, it is the one thing I never seemed to get really shy about, and yes for those of you who don't know I was very very shy! The reason I loved acting, is because I was no longer me, I could step into my charecter and play the role of my charecter. I rather enjpyed it, becasue what ever my charecter said, or did, I did not have to feel bad or guilty about, because it was not the real me! what brought on wrighting a blog about this you might ask, well, Last night at uptown we were reminded of how sometimes, whith or without knowing it, we play roles, weather that be the role of the victom, or youngest child, or the clown, the onw who is serious, the black sheep...things like that! Am I playing a role? I think it is pretty safe to say, yes...I am playing a role, at least sometimes. When I was younger, especially in high school, I tried so hard to "fit in" that I would transform into what people wanted me to be, to a certin extent, but this caried on for so long, that I got to a point where I don't really think I knew the "real" me! As most, if not all of you know, I am in my final year of college, and this is the first year I have felt like I have being real, it is the first year I have felt like I know who I am, and can express that to others. however, I am not perfect, and though I try hard not to step into roles I still do! So I am sorry for not being "real!" God, pray that you would continue to show me what those roles are that I step into, then help me to brake those roles, so I can walk as the woman of God you created me to be!

2006-11-20T05:19:00.000-08:00

Uptown

Uptown tonight was really good. I think in a way uptown is getting more and more intense every time I go! Part of me feels like when I hear Reed preach that I am back in spiritual formation because it is like I am getting the same message twice! Reed is doing a series on transforming the heart, and well, in spiritual formation we are looking at transforming the heart! So yah, but anyway, every time I go, I get ministered to so much, and I love to be there because everyone is so real! Tonight we read from 2 Corinthians 3, and we talked about how Moses wore a vale to prevent people from seeing that the glory of the LORD was fading, but people thought Moses wore the vale because of how bright the glory of the Lord was on him. And we talked about how we were masks or vales that kinda fool other people, and if we keep that mask on for long enough we even begin to believe it. So I began to wonder, what are my masks? I know I have them! Lord, I pray that you would reveal those masks to me; I pray that you would help me to be real with people, and I pray that you would help me take off those masks; Show me who I am in you, and help me to lay those masks at the cross and leave them there so you can form and shape me into the woman of God you created me to be!

2006-11-20T05:18:00.000-08:00

Self image/ self view!

Lately, I have been becoming more and more aware of something! That is just how much I look down upon myself, or how hard I am on myself! I mean, I make mistakes, everyone does, but I really really beat myself up over it, and I really shouldn’t! I should not let my mistakes control me, I should not forget about them either, simply learn from them! I have talked down and looked down on my self for so long, that it has been difficult to change! Yet I KNOW I need to! I feel like it is really hindering me, because I often get this mind set that I can’t do things, or that I am not good enough! I constantly seek others approval, when really the only approval I need to be seeking is God’s! Or I have this really distorted view which comes from the world, on hoe I need to look! And this has been going on for so long that it is really difficult for me to see the good things, I realized that when I could not list one single skill that I have, sad but true! So LORD, I pray that you would show me who I am in you, and help me to receive that and accept that and hang on to it when I go through the rocky times of uncertainty about who I am! I pray that you would help me to take every negative thought captive to you and that I would be able to take it to your cross and leave it there, but also to pick up the truth, your truth and cling onto it! Show me who I really am!

2006-11-07T17:18:00.000-08:00

Miracles in the Maritimes

This weekend was amazing! There was so much healing. Both inner healing and outer (for lack of a better word) healings! I don’t think I ever experienced anything like it! The worship was so amazing! And that’s just the beginning! This weekend really had an effect on me! I received so much freedom! I actually danced, I actually danced a lot! :D On top of that, I started to be able to lay down the things of my past, and start to LEAVE them at the cross! It is still a struggle but it is getting a little easier! There was a lot of talk about being freed from depression, which I am hoping one day will happen, however it never, but oh well, I am still trusting God, as well as taking my meds. Oh and this might sound a little weird to some of you, but I have a gold filling now, and two of my fillings are gone! As well as during the conference Mike Smith, the guy leading worship, also did ministry time, and he called up the people who’s name meant a flower, and so I went up, cause Susan means Lilly, and then he prayed a Mother Teresa Anointing over us! It was amazing! And then at the end of the night, I was told I was a fire ball! HEHE! Oh And three times that night, I was asked about my heart for the nations, which is weird because I never told anyone I had a heart for the nation, more specifically Africa! So All I can do and have been doing is surrendering it to the Lord and seeing what comes of it! And then the night after the conference, I asked for prayer, cause my back was really really hurting me, and after Sky prayed for me I was healed! No more pain! YAY!!!!!

2006-11-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

New Revelation:

So Here I am sitting in spiritual formation and I finally get what the next step is in my healing process. For the past week I have accepted the things that had happened in my past, and as much as I am scared I do desire healing, but I did not know what the next step was. I mean I know and I have been praying about it and laying them down at the cross, but I knew something else had to be done. Then during class I learnt my memories leads to emotions which leads to meaning which leads to thoughts which then lead to my actions. When I look at this I realized that to date that my memories where tied to strong negative emotions, which in turn leaves me with the meaning that I have no worth and I don’t belong, which gave me very negative thoughts towards myself and others, which then leads to negative actions. So what I need to do is take every thought captive to Christ! I need to retrain those thoughts, retrain my mind so I will have the mind of Christ. It will not be an easy process, and one that probably will not be easy, but at least now I know the next step is.

2006-10-31T17:19:00.000-08:00

To all the guys:

I wanted to Wright this blog for all the guys/men that read my blog.
This weekend I have realized that I really don't trust guys/men, and I have a really really hard time being real around them, and I have almost always felt intimidated by guys, in some way shape or form. This is kind of a scary thought when I think about it, because all the faculty of the college this year are men. I have also had this bad habit of associating guys/men to getting hurt. For the longest time I never even realized I was doing this. But I am! I am now trying to stop though. So To all the guys/men I am sorry if I haven't been real, and even sorrier that I have trouble trusting you. I hope you can have patience with me as God helps me heal from this!

2006-10-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

Refiners Fire!

Oh how have I learnt to be careful of what I pray for! Over the past week, I have been in a place of deep deep reflection. It has been a very thoughtful week. A week where God has been teaching me to be still. To be silent before him, so he can work in me! So it has been my prayer the past week that God would search my heart, and bring up those things that are hid so deep that I have been avoiding dealing with them, and I have been in denial about for years now. And as hard as that was I knew God was calling me to just sit and be, rather then keeping myself going, and trying to do things for other! Do not get me wrong, being a servant is good, however I guess I realized one of the reasons I would rather keep my self busy serving others is so I won’t have time to be still. (I really hope this make sense for people) Anyway, I started feeling like God was standing there with the keys to “the closet” waiting for me to say, Ok God, I need to clean this willing and the time is now! And as soon as I did he immediately brought things up! As a result, I have been dealing with some pretty deep things, and being brought through a process of deep deep healing! And as scary as it is to be reliving these things, I know God has not left me. So pray as God is bringing me through the refiners fire, as he slowly chisels away the hard parts of my heart, that I would continue to be obedient and willing to let him work in me, and be open to Him working through others to help make me aware of some of the things I need to deal with!

2006-10-17T19:27:00.000-07:00

2 nights of seeking God:

The past two nights I have spent a fair amount of time in the chapel here at the college. Myself adn a few other people have been worshiping and praying. I have had a really difficult time worshiping and I was not sure why other then I was trying hard to deal with the stuff going on at home! And well God spoke to me and showed me that I was angry! And so I had to appolagise and repent of it, and then I have spent alot of today appolagising to different people for my anger, and it is funny cause they didn't even see that I was angry, which ment it was all internal! Then tonight at prayer I broke down and cryed, alot, and I realised that I am angry at God and I am angry cause I feel like the prayers for my nan is not making a difference, and I am tired of feeling that way! I know that God hears our prayers, I have been trying to focus on the scripture that talks about the prayer of the rightouchs pervales! And trying to remember that God hears us when we call out to him! but it has still been a challenge! So I am sorry for being angry with God, and tonight, I was reminded that even in my anger God still loves me! How, I don't really know! But I am thankful that he loves me despite the fact I am angry and hurt!

2006-10-17T19:20:00.000-07:00

Update on my nan:

All day today I have had the most horible sinking feeling in my stomic which usually somethin is just not right! So when I got home from work I felt an urgant need to get an update on my nan. So first I called home and Dad was saying that he had not talked to my mom in a while but last he knew my nan had been for a walk, but still no tube! So then I called my mom on her cell, and found out she did get the tube put in and the infection can now begin to drain out of her body as well as still being treated by medacation! And we orignally thought the tube would be there for three weeks, however they said tonight that it might be a few days and could be as much as six weeks! And they should know more tomorow!

2006-10-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

My nan!

Wrighting a prayer request: Almost a week ago I found out my nan was admited to hospital in edmonton, she is from newfoundland but the woman of my family were in Alberta, on their way to calgery to my cusions wedding when they just had to finally take my nan to hospital! I had not even know she was sick but apparently she had been sick for almost a month and they nthought it was the stomic flew! YAH, not so much! Turns out it was her gullbalder and she had so many gullstones, but...it gets worse. She has such a bad infection, and had they waited one more day the infection would have been to bad to do anything about! The doctors are trying everything they can to get the infection cleared up so they can do surgry to remove the gullbladder so she can get better. However, they can not get the infection cleared up! And she had another gullbladder attack which has put her in alot of pain, so they have her hooked up to Morphine all time, as well as something to help her breath! the latest bloodwork shows the infection is slowly, and i meanever so slowly, is comming down! But the doctors are not happy! They were spose to insert a tube in her today which was to stay there for three weeks to help the infection drain, and then they would look at surgry! However when I talked to my home an hour ago still nothing...no change! My family is emotionally drained, physically drained, and frusterated! And they are truning to me, or that is how it feels! and though I know everything will be ok, and though I am dealing alot better then last year, inside I feel broken! Thank GOd I have strength everytime I talk to them, but I am drained! And it is gewtting hard! sO PLEASE PRAY for my family and me! For God's peace, and strength, guideance and wisdom! And understanding and patiance! thanks in advance for your prayers! (the prayer of a rightouches man pervales)

2006-10-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

Back on Medacation

There is not to much to say about it but I am back on Meds! I am kinda thankful about it now! I am still strugeling with finding a schedual, a good time that I can remember to take my meds every day twice a day! It is just a madder of finding something that work! I have to daily reminded myself that depression is nothing I did wrong, but an actual thing (yah thing is not the right word I just can't think of the right word) and though it was hard to sallow that this could be a life long battle, I think I am back to acepting that I could be on meds for a long time! Being on meds helps me to remember and remind me that depression does not have to control me, and that with the help of meds, and prayer and seeking God, I can still live a "normal" life, so thats a good thing to remember cause then I don't feel so darn helpless! So as I end this please pray that I find stabel times to take my medacation and that once I found those times I can remember to take them!

2006-10-09T18:09:00.000-07:00

Lord of the rings marathon

Today I did something that I never thought I would ever do! At ten this morning, I started watching the Lord of the rings, number 1 and we have been going non stop ever sence, we are finaly on the second half of the third movie. I can not believe I watched all three movies in one day and actually enjoyed them! :D

2006-10-01T17:25:00.000-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tonight I want to wish my fellow bloggers a happy thanksgiving! :D I also want to say I am truly thankful for every person God has placed in my life, because they have helped shape me into the person I am today in some way shape or form. As well as say I am trully blessed and thankful for God's provision, and that God will provide. I am really really close to my family, and I do wish I was home with them, or this year, wishing I was at my cusions wedding in Calgery, however, God has blessed me every year sence I have been away. I say this because every year God has put people into my life to make me feel at home during this holaday weekend, and many other times! So, Thank You God for provided for me! And I leave you with one question: What are you thankful for this thanksgiving weekend?

2006-09-29T06:13:00.000-07:00

Tonight!

Tonight a bunch of us went to the chapel to worship. It was awesome. I had such a great time with God! It started off as like crying out to God seeking Him, and just worshiping and praising Him! Which is great in itself, but then it was suggested we pray for on another! That’s when things got, well, really intense, but in a good way! When people were praying for me, I literally fell to the floor in shock. It was crazy conformation. Christian says the word Ninja, and then Sky gets the word nun chucks! Sound familiar? Yah, the same thing that was spoken over me this summer! Holy Cow, confirmation like nuts, All I could do was laugh; like I just laughed for so long it was crazy! (I know many of you reading this now might think I am nuts, but oh well!) Oh and then how I had been feeling for so long inside of me and have not told ANYONE sky prayed into it! She had a vision of me dancing and just waving these big banners. And she said how though I was dancing tonight, I have to let go, I have to cast out the fear. And how perfect love casts out all fear. And that when I was vulnerable and obedient to that that I would begin to be a leader for others to feel free to worship! And how when I am dancing and jumping it is like I am stomping all over the devil! :D That’s rightà The DEVIL has NO authority over me! The cross of Christ and the Blood Christ shed for me has won the victory, and it is because of that that the only fear I should have is a fear of the LORD! Then we were just soaking in God’s presence, and there were only four of us left there, and well, God decided he was not done with us, oh no God was defiantly not done with us! I was praying with another student, and then we both just lid down, soaking and enjoying the presence of God, and well, that’s when I brake out laughing. And I laughed so hard and so long I was almost sick, and then once I got laughing, well, I started rolling! It was nuts! Awesome and amazing but nuts! I am SOOOOO Sore but it was worth it! It was an awesome night and hopefully we can do this more often! God you are so awesome and amazing, and you work in mysterious and on explainable ways! I thank you and praise you for that LORD! Thank you for your unending love and compassion and kindness and patience and grace and mercy! May I continue to walk in step with you and your will for my life. And may I never stop seeking you!

2006-09-25T19:20:00.000-07:00

today at work

I had an amazing day. In the morning was quiet and reflective. :D The afternoon was kinda quiet and relaxing and fast all at the same time. Before I knew it, it was supper time. and I experianced my first ever...napkin fight! It was SOOOOO funny! I was laughing so hard my chest hurt. And It felt like I was laughing for a good 1/2 hour! So far I have really liked my third year placement. I am sure some days will be hard, and I am sure some days will feel slow and long, (actually one day already did and that was the day I was starting to get super sick) but over all I think it will be a good year where I will learn alot! I love working with everyone there!

2006-09-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

How is it?

How is it that you can have an amazing time with God, feel refreshed and renewed, and yet within a half an hour to an hour feel so down and blah! And how is it that you can be in the same room as your housemates and yet so far away and distant? It just does not make sense to me, all I know is that’s how I feel!

2006-09-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

Uptown!
Tonight, after getting back from first aid I was mentally and spiritually drained, and I new I needed to worship God. I went to the uptown service, which now feels like home to me. And it was so amazing. I felt so refreshed. The service had a special anointing, and I could just feel God’s presence so much, it was so good to be ministered to by God threw the service. God is so great! :D Next week is the second anniversary of uptown. It is hard to believe uptown has been around for two years, yet at the same time it is amazing. There will be a guy getting baptized there next Sunday, as well as one of the other guys, that we got to know well this summer, was baptized this past Thursday which was awesome, I was so happy to hear that! It was really good to be back at Uptown, and see the people I have started to build relationships with over the summer, and I really hope I can keep going!

2006-09-25T15:05:00.000-07:00

First Aid Part 2!

Today was a good day. Long but good. I learnt so much, that I don’t know if I will remember it all, but I am sure if I ever do have to use it, I will recall it…though pray that I never have to use it. Today we did a review of CPR and then we started talking about head and neck injuries, we got the opportunity to learn hands on how to hold the neck, head, and shoulders, how to put the neck collar on, and how to put them on the back bored, as well as how to properly strap them in place. We learnt how to treat abrasions, lacerations, and a couple of other things like that. We learnt how to wrap and dress a wound, as well as putting on a sling. We learnt how to treat 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree burns. We learnt what to do if someone drove something into them and it is still in them. We learnt how to deal with poisons, and my favorite part…how to deliver a baby in an emergency situation. Oh and we learnt how to deal with people who have diabetes, as well as epilepsy, and also people with heat stroke and hypothermia. So there was a lot packed in today. At the end of the day we had a test, and I got 90% I couldn’t believe it. I was so happy and proud, but not the bad kind of proud the good kind.

2006-09-25T15:03:00.000-07:00

Running away from God!

Tonight I realized something. I have been avoiding and I have been running away from God. Ever since I have got back from Newfoundland I have felt for the most part distant from God, even when I am getting in His word, I just feel nothing, empty, dry, and distant. I even really struggled with my first service this year, especially with the talk, and figuring out what to write. I couldn’t really figure out why, or well, being completely honest here and with my self, I was avoiding why! I have over the past while, felt like I needed to spend time with God. Felt like I needed to start reading again, not just the bible, but my personal books that I started reading this summer and got so much out of. Feeling like I needed to spend time worshiping and praying to God. But did I…No, I kept avoiding it, hanging out with the girls, or doing other things. Yah, the reason I have been so dry is because I have been lying to myself, I have been avoiding or running away form what I know I needed to do! So tonight, after getting home from TEC and after writing for a bit, I started praying. Asking God to forgive me for running away and avoiding Him, asking for his forgiveness (again) for the wrongs things that happened while I was home. Just asking Him to help me stay focused on Him and asking Him to give me the desire to go deeper with Him. Then I picked up a book that Reed recommended me to read and take a look at…It is called recognize your spiritual authority. I have only read the first chapter which is on overcoming intimidation, but it is really good, and I can understand why he recommended me to read it, or at least I think I understand why! Anyway yah, after I read that book I am going to go back and begin to get back to reading my other two books big girls don’t whine, and Lady in waiting: becoming the woman God wants you to be while waiting for Mr. right! So it has been good reconnecting with God. I have got to stop running, and I took the first step toward that tonight.

2006-09-25T14:57:00.000-07:00

TEC Reunion:

After a day of training for CPR and First Aid, I came home feeling drained and tired, yet kinda happy cause I got home early enough to go to the TEC celebration. TEC celebration was awesome. It was kinda refreshing. I love everyone that I go to school with, but sometimes it is just nice to see other faces. And it was so weird for me to be called by name by people who have only met me once or twice, and yet I feel like included and welcomed, and for me a relief that I have friends outside the college. (Though I don’t keep in touch with them, sorry guys, I will try to do better) A good friend of mine spoke into my life tonight and gave me some really good advice, as well as reminding me that things were going to be ok, (God how I love her; she has changed my life so much just by knowing heràyou know who you are) At one point tonight I felt like I should have got prayer but kinda didn’t and then missed the opportunity, but oh well, can’t kick myself for it! When we were worshiping after supper the neatest and craziest thing happened to me…I was beginning to pray quietly to God confessing how distant I have been from him lately, and just really asking to hear from Him, and to hear His truth, cause that is really really really what I needed to hear, and the next few songs they sang after that was filled with the truth of God. For example they sang this song talking about how we have a master and he created us. So it was special and awesome! Also it was encouraged for us to be real. And I started to really look at myself and ask myself how real I was being. And yah it was just a good thing to evaluate and it was good to think about it. So yah, to all you TEC people…I love you all!

2006-09-25T04:22:00.000-07:00

First Aid:

I started my first aid training today! I went in with a lot of fear and reservation. It took me a while to worm up, but coming out of Day one I feel like I have a lot less fear. I still feel like I am not sure of things and feel really apprehensive. But with time I am sure it will get easier. Today was mainly about CPR, and tomorrow is mainly first aid. I feel like if I have to I could help and do something in a situation now, with that being said I pray that I never have to use it. Tomorrow is going to be more hands on, not that today was not hands on, but it was more practicing on dummies, tomorrow, not so much! But I am sure I will make it through and at the end of the tomorrow be certified in First Aid and CPR!

2006-09-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

Joy

Have you ever had an experience when you just feel Joy? Well, the past two days all I have felt is pure Joy! Not a joy as in happy, though yes I was happy. But a joy that flows from deep inside of me. A Joy that cause me to want to laugh and smile at all times, a joy that seems to just light me and worm me inside. It is really something I can not describe yet it is awesome and amazing and I don’t ever really remember feeling like this before or at least for this long! And with that joy comes Peace, not the Peace of this world, but God’s peace, peace that passes all understanding! And it also brings me new fresh and renewed strength! (The Joy of The Lord is my strength) God Your Awesome and amazing and all praises belong to you!

Thanks for all those who have been praying for me, they have made a world of difference!

2006-09-20T16:13:00.000-07:00

Ethics -->kingdom ethics

We have had one class of ethics so far, and on friday we will have another one! I think i am going to need a mirical to make it through the course. I feel like I need a dictionary just to read the book! it will be brutal! anyway i am jetting! i just wanted to say ethics is going to be super hard!

2006-09-20T06:48:00.000-07:00

Someone come and rescue me from this boring week. Being sick is no fun! :P I have no energy. I am staying in bed alot, because i do not want to get others sick! Me being in bed cause I have no energy = me sleeping alot. me sleeping alot during the day = crappy night time sleeping! I geuss being sick does have some benifits though, like i had the time to read my book for 1 Timothy, as well as now i have a whole day to read ethics! :D I think the timothy book has been putting me to sleep cause i get really sleepy everytime i pick it up to read it, but i only have like 4 pages left to read so i will do that after bloging! Being sick also gives me the time to update my blog (yay to all those bloggers who have been asking me to update) And it gives me the chance to look at other blogs as well! Anyway, I am signing off now!

2006-09-19T18:20:00.000-07:00

Third year meetings!

Bah, tonight I found out through other students that the third years have meetings all day tomorow with Bruce, Paul, and Rob, and for all you non church army officers reading this, they our the national and reginal directors for church army. they are about posting for after commisioning i am awsuming. however i never knew about the meetings and i never got a ledder like the rest of the third ear students. Does this surprise me...not really. Does it stink...deffently. I know i messed up alot in the past two years, and as musch as i wish i could turn back time and take it all back, i can't! See I geuss somewhere deep down inside when i found out i could finish my training, i hoped that there might be a slight chance I could somehow redeam myself. however knowing the rest of the third years are having meatings about postings and I am not, is making me face the reality that I am not church army. It makes me wonder if I can ever redeem myself. Now with that being said I am not going to just give up, I am going to continue to work my but off all year and so i can alot graduate with a diploma in Mission and Evangelism! The funny thing is I feel numb. I leard this summer that those things which I was looking into doing last year was compltly fleshly desires, and not of God. I shared with Jen and Chris, as they were praying with me during the national church army confrence, that even though I know I didn't want to be part of church army at the end of the year, I also can't see myslef anywhere else. I know that probrably dosen't make sence to alot of people, but it is how i feel. Anyway, I geuss I really really really no matter how hard it is, surender this situation to God, and wait and see, and pray that God shows me the plan he has for me, and pray for God's peace as i wait to hear from Him, and just continue to trust that there is something out there for me! Your orayers would be apreshiated as I try to figgure things out!

2006-09-19T18:09:00.000-07:00

Anti Depresiants

well next month it would have been a year snece i have been on Anti Depresents. It took me a long time to get used to taking them, an even longer time for me to tell anyone, and well my family is still not ok with my decision. I learnt this summer that Elijah sufferfed from depression as well. And so i began to ask my team members to pray for freedom from depresion. And all seemed to have worked it has been close to three weeks sence i have taken any medacation for depresion, and ok, yes i should have talked to my doctor about going off of them instead of just stoping, but for the most part i still feel fine. The past nights i have been a little upset but nothing a good cry could not handel. I still have them incase I need them and I am montering myslef relativly closely, and so hopefully I will not have to live in the bondage of depression again! Please keep me in your prayers as I take things a day at a time. Take Care and GOd Bless, Susan!

2006-08-27T09:13:00.000-07:00

Summer Wrapup-->last week of summer placement!

the last week of summer placement, has been good! it has been a little slow, but over all it has been good!

we did another out reach in Kings sqare, and for me it was the one i have felt the most comfortable doing! I did some facepainting again! (there was a day care group there so they all swarmed me after it was anounced that there was free facepainting) and i kinda got intemadated cause there wasn't alot of things i knew how do do, sence i am just learning, and one of the day care workers can do alot with face painting! :S but all in all the face painting went good! And I was actually able to hand out tracts, without feeling like i was tiny tiny, or without wanting to hide! And our lemonaid went over well, well that is until something poped off rocek man and there was a largew fountian of lemonaid flying out, which was entertaining! we had the chance to do two drama's which was good! i realised that day how much i related to my charecter in the heart, and i was going to say something, like a testamony, but i never! :P

Then we went to Renues which was acording to the chaplin there the best service he has seen from Taylor College sence they have been comming to help! So that was god, and encouraging to hear! being at the prision was intresting for me! I was not at al nurvous, and i was excited to go back, and i enjoyed getting to talk to the prisoners afterwards! we had alot of extra time so kevin took us on a little tour of some of the different areas and i got to learn a little more about the prision system which was good! part of me still wants to work in the prison system, ministering to them, but that is something i will have to surender to God, cause if it is not HIS will for my life then i ultamently don't want it!

We also did a BBQ at Highmedow appartments, which went well! It went from four to six, and by five we had a bunch of people! :D it was great! it wazsn't just kids we had but adults came out as well! :D it was nice to start to build relationships in that area and for the parents to have some time talking and catching up or getting to know each other!

Finally we ended with the BBQ at Stone yesterday which was great! I loved it! it was great to see everyone, catch up with everyone and then just to help out in anyway, as well as doing some more facepainting and all of out skits! i hope i can keep up the relationships I have built there over the summer!

OVER ALL, the summer was great! i GREW alot, and learned alot! I did things i never thought I would do, and i enjoyed them! it got me thinking alot about the end of next year! But knowing what I have to do is to leave my hopes my dreams and desires in the hands of Jesus, surender everthing to him, and he will show me!

2006-08-14T07:19:00.000-07:00

Our week in Fredricton!

Our week in Fredricton was intresting, good but intresting! See our clubs are only spose to be a 2 hour program, but fredriction advertised it as 3 hours! So we told the guy we were working with and the morning it started he told everyone 2 and a 1/2 hours! so we ran our two hour program and still had a 1/2 hour to kill, so we took them into the gym and played basketball! Afterr that first day we made sure the times where right! Plus the first day was a holladay, so the second day cornor stone came over with some of their kids and helpers (thank God) cause we had 30 kids from then on out!
As for other ministry's we did two visits at York Manor (the seniors home) and we also visited cornor stone for a while, and we also took Christiena, from mission week, out!
oH AND ON THURSDAY NIGHT, Afer having a wonderful meal, Rachel and I had the oppertunity to go to the Art Gallery! :D:D:D It was so cool! I felt underdressed and a little intemated but really really cool! it was a once and a life time experiance and it was a good week overall!

2006-08-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

Our week in Moncton

Our week in Moncton was great! Chris Vanbuskirk, the minister of the church we went to, was the first Minister who stayed to help during the vacation bible club as well as he actually got down on the floor and played with the kids! It was great! On top of that he said he would be surpirsed if we got more then 5 kids, and we ended up with I think around 20 kids! so that was a fun surprise!

Each afternoon was filled with different activities! each day we would go to a prak and do outreach there with the kids by playing games and by singing songs and having free snack and drink as well as doing a puppet show with them, (Ahh, that was always fun and intresting)

As well we also visted three sedniors homes while we were in Moncton! They were great! One of the ones we went to I was really touched by! My heart just went out to everyone there! As soon as you open the door there is just such a big feeling of welcome and love! To see the workers come along side the patiants and wipe away their tears and to see there love and compasion for the resadences was truly amazing! I was so touched!

FInally we also went and helped out at a soup kitchen! I never in a million yeqars thought I would even go inside a soup kitchen let alone eat there or help there! But I did!@ we ate there twice and on wendsday we went and helped serve lunch was was such a humbuling experiance and I loved it and would go to help out again in a heart beat! we also helped out at a mobile soup bus! we went and made close to three hundred samwitches for the night! It was such an amazing experiance! (Many hands make light works)!

2006-07-30T17:23:00.000-07:00

Our week in New Denmark/Artherette!

So our week in New Denmark was awsome! Both with the bible club and our billits!

the first night we got to our billits, they where asking us to play vollyball and football with them! from thqat night on, every night we got home from supper and waited till it was dark out and then went and plaed games such as capture the flag, sardenes, soccer (WELL I NEVER played soccer, and it was when it was still light out!) anyway, needless to say there was alot of late nights and alot of fun fun times, to this day I still miss them and want to go back to new denmark!

the vacation bible clubs where good to! we averadged around 25-30 (I think) thats in the morning, in the afternoon we only had around 12-15 which was nice!

I am going to stop this blog now though cause i only mostly remember about our billits, it has been so long sence we did the bible clubs there that i don't remember!

2006-07-26T17:42:00.000-07:00

Lady in Waitingàbecoming the women God wants you to be while waiting for Mr. Right!

About a week ago I went to the Baptist book room looking for the book “Big Girls Don’t Wine” and ended up ordering that one and buying another one. And I thought it would be about staying pure before finding Mr. Right, BUT it is about so much more. It is just stirring something up in me more and more and I don’t really know how to deal with it. There is SO much! And I feel like God wants to do something in me but it is just nuts! I can not even find the words to it right now which means I am going to post this as is and then when I find the words or understand it better I will edit this blog, but right now it is just to much

2006-07-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

I do not understand!

Can some one please please please explain to me how in the world how people can put there are people who can put there parents in a care home and then live just a couple of blocks away and then hardly ever visit! I can understand that people put there parents in a care home, I understand that, I mean, some people can not take care of them anymore, and I get that, and some people are busy but still makes time to visit. However it really gets to me when people put there parents in a care home just to “pawn them off” or at least that’s what it seems like cause they live just a couple blocks away and visit maybe once every two weeks. It is so sad. They just seem soooooooo sad! It is SO unfair!

At the same time, God what in the world are you doing in me? So many times through the prayers of others and then through different things at placements it seems that you may be leading me into seniors ministry. I don’t understand it…because the couple of times we have done service it just seems to go disastrous for me! HELP me please!!!!!!

2006-07-22T15:28:00.000-07:00

National Conference:
The national conference was awesome! So many things happened! First let me say it came at the perfect time, cause with just finishing one week with doing to VBC’S in one day just finishing, and then heading into another week with two clubs right after national conference, it was a good time to be refreshed and get rest.
I had a hard time believing that I was there at first, well I mean kinda! When I was so unsure of things at the end of the school year and when I was accepted back into Taylor to finish my third year but not be commissioned I wondered weather or not I would even be aloud to go to national conference caused it looked like I was not going to be in church army, but I was aloud to go, and boy and I ever glad!
On that first night being their with a hundred evangelist around you, to be able to worship with them, and to look to the left and right and see amazing evangelist worshiping God was sooooo powerful to see! And then to be able to put faces to the people we have been praying for. Those who have gone before us and prepared the way for us! It was such an amazing honor to meat these people. And to sit down and begin to get to know these people and their stories including what they where doing today!
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The sense of family was easy to see very early on, and it was very neat. I ended up getting sick on Sunday, and I remember trying not to mention anything to many people, some people noticed, but mostly I did not want people to think I couldn’t handle things on my own, so I tried to keep my mouth shut and just enjoy the couple hours off, however by supper time I had asked a couple of people to pray for God’s healing for me cause I really did not feel well. However I was determined to make it through the night. Thanks to Carol I ended up resting all through supper, and woke just in time to make it to commissioning, where I only made it through about half the service before Carol took me home cause I was so sick I was white. I ended up staying home that Monday, and was feeling well enough to go on Tuesday morning for the ending, so when I arrived back on Tuesday I had people who I didn’t even think knew I was sick asking how I was feeling. Reed prayed with me during the brake, and so did a few other officers and I began to pick up and feel a little better by the end of the conference. But it just really overwhelmed me to see how many people cared! Thanks to all those who did pray for me, I went to get checked out that after noon and discovered I had a bladder infection and sense I have been on medication for it I have been feeling 100% better! And then to top that off, I met my cousin at the conference, which was such a special moment, I began to learn a little bit more about my Dad’s side of the family, which was great cause I have wanted to for a while now. I hope that now I know her I can keep in touch with her.
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The end of the conference brought lots of sorrow, in one way, saying those good byes to those who you love and those officers you are close to! And also at the end of the conference I learnt a valuable lesson! I learnt to think before you speak! That words you speak have power and consaqwinces. And no matter how much you wish you could take them back you can’t! I am sorry for the pain that my words caused some people. And all I can is I am trying very hard not to open my mouth before thinking very hard and closely about what I am going to say! “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.” “The words of gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to man’s inmost parts.” “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a hash word stirs up anger.” “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.”

2006-07-22T15:27:00.000-07:00

Cambridge Narrows/Sussex:
Our second and third bible clubs where in Cambridge Narrows and Sussex Corner. They went well. We learned when doing to clubs in one day to MAKE SURE you have EVERYTHING before packing up, or else, well, you could be improvising a few things, but all in all things went well. We also learned that with maybe one exception any kid under five is TO YOUNG!!!! We averaged around 15 to 16 kids in each club. So we doubled our numbers which was great, but we had the volunteers to support it, we would have never been able to handle that many kids with out volunteers.
There was not a lot of opportunity for extra ministries where we were but we did do some. Monday night we went to camp Medley where we did a prayer walk through the entire camp ground and then had some fun playing capture the flag with the kids and staff. Then on Wednesday we went to visit a lady and have a swim in the river and then have supper and talk with her. And that was it! All in All it was a good week! :D

2006-07-22T15:26:00.000-07:00

Milledgeville
Our first VBC went good. We had eight kids, seven girls and one boy more specifically. And we were competing with a community where a lot of the kids were involved with both tennis lessons, which were twice a week, and then soccer, which was also two nights a week. So having eight kids was ok. For the most part they seemed to have fun, and all we can do is pray that seeds where planted and that they will grow. The couple that Rachel and I stayed with was very sweet. They had two girls, Savannah and Val, that both attended the bible club. Then each day when we would return from the bible club we would here the girls repeating there memory verses or singing the songs they learnt, which wormed my heart so much.
VBC was not the only thing we did there though. After lunch we would usually try to do some sort of other ministry and outreach! So Monday we went to Rockwood park, and took the Frisbee and football the through around. It was SOOOO hot, so to cool down Rachel and I go for a quick, and I mean quick, swim. And then we all have fun for a couple of hour’s throwing football and Frisbee around, in which random kids would come and join us! :D After we dropped the guys off at the rectory Rachel and I both got to try Baskin Robin’s donuts for the first time. After which we went back to our billets, to really begin to get to know the girls and their parents. On Tuesday afternoon we went to the kennebick manner for a meeting to see if there was an afternoon that we could come back and help out, and also knowing we wanted to help out at Saint John and Saint Steven nursing home as well. We decided that Thursday afternoon was the best day to go back, we went and help the people play bingo and then we had a short sing along with them. Then on Friday we went to the other home where we just did a lot of visits with people who ether couldn’t or wouldn’t come out of there rooms. It was sweet, and yet difficult at the same time. (Makes me wonder what God is doing since seniors ministry has come up in pray a number of times) So that leaves Wednesday! Wednesday we went back to the park, where I tried my hand at face painting and we handed out free lemonade!
Now, On to the fun! The couple Rachel and I stayed with had their own tennis court, pool, hot tub, pool table, and their own gym! So each day when Rachel and I went home we would usually go for a swim with the girls. Oh and on Tuesday and Thursday we went to watch the girl’s soccer games! Then we would usually enjoy some down time and then we would um be out around the campfire a couple of nights! :D Well I think I have said everything I could, so I am signing off! Take Care and God Bless, Susan!

2006-06-30T17:31:00.001-07:00

Elisha and his heart for the nation!

This week, while at kens, I was getting really slack on doing my charecter study, ok, so i was lucky if i remembered to do my own personal devotion let alone my charecter study. Anyway, by thursday I was starting to freak out a little, so as I was doing my day of silance I started reading a little but nothing was comming! so then on friday morning both rachel and I woke up supper early, and once Rachel left the cabin and I realised I wasn't getting back to sleep, I open the curtins, grabed my flashlight, for extra light, and start reading 2 Kings to work on my charecter study! at first i couldn't see anything, but then, I read a passage, and it is like it jumped out of the page, i found this charecteristic, but not only was it a charecteristic of Elisha, it showed the charecter of God, and it made my heart leap and sink all at the same time! It should that He had a real heart for the nations. it made my heart leap cause it was awsome to see, but also made my heart sink cause it was almost like i could see this grown man weeping and it touched me, pluse It made me LONG for a heart for the nations! I never had an intrest, well, other then africa, but this summer i have this desire to have a heart for the nations and i feel that God is giving me desire, and i jut ned to conrinuw to seek him!

2006-06-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

Janets Good Bye dinner

Today, after being out in the woods at Ken's all week, we came back to Janets good bye dinner! For those of you who don't know Janet she has been an administrater and teacher at the college for years now! And she is moving on at the end of this month!

though there were times I was so frusterated with Janet, none of those memories seem to stick, thank God, What I do remember are the times she went out of her way to help others! She did so many behind the scene things at and for the college that we will miss her for that alone! But I really thank God for Janet! She really knew how to stick up for you! Actually Janet is one of the main reasons I am back for my third year, she stuck up for me, prepard me well, and encouraged me to Fight Back, I use those words only because I lack better words, But Janet was an amazing women and will be missed around the college!

My Prayer for Janet is this: God will you lead and guide Janet in these next few weeks and months ahead. May she always rely on you to be her source of strenth and peace. I pray that you would continue to provide people for her as she and david are miles away from home. thank you for her obediance for hearing your voice and fallowing you even when it ment moving far away! In the name of you Son, Jesus Christ, Amen!

2006-06-30T17:30:00.001-07:00

Week at Kens, Part two: A day of Silent retreet!

Have you ever spent hours in silance? well this week I did! Our task on thursday, because of the weather, was to do this retreet which ken gave us the outline for! It is you start with a prayer of confession and invatation, then move into thirty minnutes of silant listening in which you think of a phrase that draws you near to God, and then you read and reread a short passage of scripture, then you medatate on what you read, then you pray as God leads, then you jurnal, then you have some recreation and some reflective reading, and then you rest, and then you repeat the process, so each cycle is spose to take you 4 to 4 and a 1/2 hours! And you are spose to do this on your own! So the morning was brutal! It was so hard to stay quite, and try to hear from God! I usually need worship to enter in to my time with God! However then we came together for lunch and we discused the morning! then after a brake we were sent out to do the whole thing over again! And the second time around it was Awsome and amazing! I was so relaxed in God's presence that I almost fell asleep! :D It was great! when we discused it at first Ken made us feel like we were the only group to strugle with this, however after we returned from the second time he told us that we had a very commen reaction to what others had before us! Anyway it was neet and I would encourage people to take some time and retreet, be quite before the LORD! Peace out, Take Care and God bless!

2006-06-30T17:30:00.000-07:00

Week at Kens--> Part one: Power tools!
We just got back from a week at Ken's place out at his resort in St Martins! If anyone wants to check it out the website is www.inthestilness.ca ! It was a great week, and we got to do alot of service projects for them! While the guys on the team help shingle a roof, dig a trench, and help cut paths, the girls got to work mostly inside and got to use POWER TOOLS! :D:D:D I loved it! I learned to use a nail gun, which I enjoyed alot better once I didn't have to stand on a stool to use! And I got to use the saw, the table say more specificly, which I LOVED!!!!! We had an amazing teacher who had lots of patiance, and if she left us alone things seemed to go down hill! :P but in all honesty it was fun! I learnt that every girl can have there moment! I learnt that using tools gives you a sence of power, and I learnt that it is always good for girls to have there own set of tools around, for those, just incase momenets! More then that though, once you get past the power rush, and remember the real reason your there, to lend a helping hand, and serve others, you learn humility and have such a sence of God's blessing and glory being poured out! It was awsome! Thanks God! Thanks Ken and Fay, May God bless you in everything you do!

We did have fun to though! Thanks to fay they girls went to grifend pond and with fays encouragement rachel and I went swimming, it was so much fun and so random! Thanks Fay for all your encouragement and for what a blessing you have been, and everything you taught us, and I don't just mean how to use the tools!

2006-06-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

Ministry opertunity at Mamorial Unaversity back home in St. John's NL!

Ok, so a couple of weeks ago now a good friend of mine called me all exsited and telling me about this plan to start a new ministry in conjunction with an anglican church witch is in close proxsimity with the unaversity! There are so many parts to what they desire to do that I could not wright about them all, but it seemed like a good idea! And they had to take it to a joint committee to vote on it to see if they would provide the funds for this ministry, if it passes there it goes on to the three bishops in Newfoundland! After the first meeting with the joint commitie things looked iffy! So I talked to her that night, and we discused the meeting, the highs and lows, tried to rationalise things, ultimatly remembering that God was in control, and also knwoing that if this was God's will two things would happan: a.) It would happen regardless, if it is God's will nothing will stop it. b.) if it was God's will the devil would not be happy and he would try to attack from what ever angle he could! Also remembering that they might just be the seed planters (which personally I would hate to see cause it is time for the harvest!) So all we could do was leave it in God's hands!

Well just a couple of dys ago I got an e-mail from my friend, saying they have been approved and it has gone on to the three bishops and thier archbishops! So PRAY PRAY PRAY! Phase one is over, but the bishops are really big in this process! Keep PRAYING!!!!!!! The time of the harvest is NOW! The seeds have been planted for a while now, and now it is time to reep what others have sown!!!!!

2006-06-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

Love Fredricton/TEC reuion!

All I have to say about it, was it was amazing!!!!

Being involved with Love fredricton was great because it took me out of my comfort zone, but in a good way! Judith and I went to the end of the street at the cross walk and handed out choclette, and it caused me to actually start conversations with people and talking to people I don't know, even if it was just to offer them free choclette. Some people looked at us as if we were crazy, while others wondered why, and still others, it brought tears to there eyes to be reminded of God's love, and it was cool to see peoples reactions. but more then that, it was such an amazing feeling to show just a bit of the love that I feel inside, and let it poor out by doing the simplist physical act. my prayer, as well as the people who organised love Saint John, is that it would not just be a one day event but that people would continuly show people that God loves them, one of the ways to do that, is doing random acts of kindness! (To think I had doubts and seriously considered not going)

As for the TEC celabration, it was also great! Not only did I have a great time worshiping God and feeling refreshed, it gave me a wonderful opertunity to meet people outside of the college from around this area. Which is big but awsome for me! Cause as much as I love the college and love the people, sometimes I feel on the outs or like I am going to explode, cause I don't know anybody outside of the college, and then when I do go out with people I always feel like I am the third wheel or that there only asking me cause they feel sorry for me (maybe I am paranoid, but still thats the way my brain works; and God is working on that) So yah TEC is allowing me to meet people outside of the college! YAY!

Anyway, I am once again signing off, (got to go back to work) :) Peace out, Take Care and God Bless, Susan!

2006-06-09T06:41:00.000-07:00

Am I an Elijah?

So all this week I have been readinbg about Elijah, and as I read I got more and more stirred from what I was reading! WORDS HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH POWER!!!! The words God gives Elijah to speak have so much power!!!!! They have so much power that as soon as Elijah says "As the LORD the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word." And that happened! THREE years they went with no rain, how powerful is that!! That because God gave those words for Elijah to speak and he was obbediant! Another example of this same thing is when Elijah was crying out to God to bring life back into the widows son, three times he laid on the boy and cryed out to God and life was restored to the boy. So words have power people!

Second: is kinda two things in one! In the first few chapters I lernt that Elijah was very obediant. There did not seem to be any questioning or doubting, He just did exsactly what God wanted Him to do! And then in the Next chapter I read how Elijah was afraid for his Life and he runs! And when I read this I laughed cause all my life when things got tuff I would either run or want to run, and if I wanted to run but didn't there was a lot of resistance! So I just wanted to stop running and become more like what Elijah was like in the first few chapters. so obediant that if God asks me to do something I will just do it without questoning or doubting! Just do it!

Finally: When the rest of the people were praying over me, Reed had this picture of me and God was giving me words to speak and I was bighting my tounge and holding back! And so as soon as I herd it I laughed!!! Because over the past year God has given me words and even sence I have gotten words to speak and I have just kept my mouth shut, or if I do speak them there is a lot of coaxing. So yah then they prayed that God would give me the boldness and that I would not be afraid and I would speak them out!!!!

Anyway I have to get back to work, also known as working on crafts! :P Take Care and God Bless, Susan!

2006-06-08T06:34:00.000-07:00

Preparing for Battle

So this morning in my own personal time with God I was reading 2 Timothy and God jsut totally answered my prayer! Sence I have been back at work I have been feeling like all the work God did in me last year, has some how went away, I mean I know it never really, but when I went home I crawled back into my shell and never came out, and now I am here, and it is like I lost my vocie, everytime I go to pray fear consumes me to speak out loud, and it was really frusterating me! So when I was reading this morning I read this 2Tim 1: 6-10 "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give you the spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power of love of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our LORD, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life---not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the apperearing of our saviour, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. " This was so special to me, cause I realised that God has not given me that fear, and I KNOW one of the things that was broken off of me in TEC was that spirit of fear, and to realise that God has given me the spirit of power, and love, and self control and I should not be afraid to use my voice to bring glory to God's kingdom!

Then, not even an hour latter we started our day off by doing group devotion, and Reed (our teacher) brings us 1 John 2: 1-17 and we all had to share something that stood out to us, and his like totaly ligned up with what I read and gave me things I needed to deal with. Here is bits of what it said! 1John2:13;14 "I wright to you young men, because you have overcome the evil one" "I wright you, young men, because you are strong and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one." we have over come the evil one! We are worries! We are out on the battle feild! But before we can overcome the evil one in the bigger picture or in spiritual relam, we first need to overcome the evil one in our own hearts!!!!! Then we can take ground in the spirtual relam! But we also need to remember always: that We can not do anything on our own, we NEED God; God is the one doing the work in us and trough us! So who am I to lose my voice! Who am I to doubt or question what the God Lord is doing through me! Greater is he that is me, then he who is in the world!

My Prayer: That God would clence me, that he would give me clean hands and pure heart, and that he would do this in the whole team we are working in this summer! and that He would give Me and us that spirit of boldness and power and Love and self deciple more then ever before! God make us more aware of how awsome you are! Keep preparing us for the battle feild. May we NEVER lose sight of our first love, may we never lose sight of the fact the you, God, are doing the work!!!! NOT US! Anyway, I think that is enough for now! Take Care and Be Blessed, Peace Out, Susan!

2006-06-06T11:52:00.000-07:00

This is my first time blogging on this site, so I am just checking to see if it works! Later