Success

Oh Man, Today I had my third Driving lesson! I had requested another driver, just to see if it would make a difference. The girls prayed for me before I left, I started to cry, just a little, and Jessie got me to say I will drive with confidence, to which I said it and she was not convinced, so I screamed it and kinda scared the girls a little! Then My instructor showed up, and I just told him point blank how I felt and that I was hoping to go on some back roads and somewhere with not two many intersections. He said we could do that, but in order to do that he had to take me through a few intersections, so I would come out of my comfort zone a little but he would be right there and not leaving me. So he was REALLY assuring! The first thing we discovered is that I was two short, and sense the wheel was as low as it could go, I had to sit on a phone book to prop me up! It really did make a difference though. I managed to successfully back up, a couple of times. And I finally was able to steer. He only had to correct me a couple of times, and it was very gently. He was affirming me the whole time. We chatted, and just connected. I decided he is going to be my main instructor from now on! It was so great. I came in actually feeling excited, I was smiling from ear to ear! My parents could tell it went well because I was so happy when I talked with them. Thanks all of you, for all your prayers, and believing that I drive, even when I did not believe in myself! you can still pray for me and it would mean allot!

Shrek Quiz

You scored as Princess Fiona. You are Princess Fiona. You are beutiful on the inside, and the ones you love the most can see past your face. Dragon 71% Shrek 71% Princess Fiona 71% Donkey 42% Lord Farquaad 4% Which Shrek character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Driving Lesson # 2

Today I had my second driving lesson today! It ended with me leaving the cars in tears. I paniced, completly and totally. Every time I saw a car comming toward me i would jerk the wheel, to which my instructer would constantly tell me. then he would have to keep telling me to either speed up or slow down, I could never get the right speed, um, I kept doing my turns wrong. I had a bad habit of driving with my hand near the signal light, and I would just turn it on when I did not need two. He said to me, he didn't know why I kept doing the three things he told me not to do! Finally 45 minnutes into the lesson he told me to pull into a parking lot. And switch sides. He said that I paniced, and he does not let panicy people drive cause they crash the car, and he is not letting that happen. Everytime I messed up hre would keep telling me I was putting my self at high-risk for getting rear-ended. As well as becuase of one of my stops at an intersection I caused another car to make a qwick lane change. He told me I kept turning my wheel to much and hard during turns. As well as when I am trying to look straight ahead, I am looking at the line on the road, instead of ahead, and it caused me to go not strait, and he said I would not be able to tell if there was a turn in the road until it was to late. I am so tense and uptight. Jessie saw I was crying the momement I got out of the car. So she met me at the top of the stairs and let me cry, all the time reminding me to breath, becuase I was so shaken I started to hyperventalate, I swore I couldn't do it and did not want to get behind the wheel of a car again. (sound familiar) Hilary got me to drink water, and I found that concentrating on drinking aloud me to breath normaly again, which is good. But even with that I still cried really hard for close to 40 minnutes. It is insane. The girls kept getting me to repeat the phrase "I will get behind the wheel again" until I had convinced them, and then tried to believe it myself. I just am finding it hard to grasp the idea that other people believe I can do it and I will do it, when I don't see it myself. (I know I am probrably being to hard on myslef) Anyway, I and ask you to pray that this would not stop me, but I would learn from this and me motivated to change, pray that I would be able to revcieve God's peace, and that I would remember to be kind to myself instead of being extremly hard on myself. thanks for reading this.

Driving school Part 3

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ok now that is out, let me write! While my class room hours are done and over with, I now have ten hours of actual driving! Today was my first lesson! I got my roomate to pray for me before I went out cause I felt really overwellmed! I got in the car with my instructor and we almost immedatly set up four more lessons and so things are moving quickly...to qwickly for comfort. He did a demonstration drive pointing out some things I should be aware of, as well as talking me through left and right hand turns. then we went to Mcallister mall parking lot where we did a circle check went over some basics like ajusting my seat and what not, and then how to ajust the meriors. He then got in the car and got me to turn the key but not turn on the car, we went over the lights that lit up on the dash bored. there was 4 and I knew 1 maybe 2 of them...It kind of frusterated me! I like the car I am driving in because it has alot of extra cool features. Then, it was time for me to drive. Man it was crazy! I can't believe it! I felt numb...Once we got on the road I actually said I can't believe I am actually driving, to which he said yes you are but you are about to hit the car, and then I jsut could not get the hang of how much to turn the wheel, cause a few times I went over the line and he had to take the wheel and guide me back! I did the lane change ok, which was good! And then I turned back onto Mountain view ok as well. ther was one pot hole on the street, to which as I tryed to avoid ended up driving right through it! He got me to sgnal left and I put the right signal light on instead. He got me to turn right into the resadence and I turned sucessfully remembering the hand over hand thing he taught me, but started to recover to quickly, and when he told me I paniced and I went to hit the brake, but never i hit the gas, which freaked me right out, he used his brake to stop me! I kept mixing up the brake and gas, so not good! And then he got me to back into the driveway, which with some instruction was able to do succsessfully! He got me to park and pull back the seat, then he said he was going to get me to do one last thing, when I asked him what it was, he looked at me and said breath!! so that was my first experiance driving...on a road...with other cars...comming towards me and in front and behind me! I walked in the house and screamed and then proceeded to tell the girls about my lesson...I then went into shock not knowing what to think or how to feel, I was shaky! I went to church and as soon as worship started I broke down and ended up crying most of the service! Anyway, enough venting...I am off!

Where you go I will go/ No Sacrifice

These are the names of two songs that have really became my prayers for the past while. they speak to the path I have been walking for a while!

No Sacrifice Lyrics:
To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to
To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to

Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

To you I give the gifts
Your love has given me
How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free?

Because
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is staronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

To you I give my future
As long as it may last
To you I give my present
To you I give my past

Because
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

Where you go, I will go Lyrics:
where you go i go, what you say i say, what you pray i pray, what you pray i pray

Jesus only did what he say you do, he would only say what he heard you speak, he would only move when he felt you lead, following your spirit

how could i exepct to walk without you, when every move that Jesus made was in surrender, i will not begin to live without you, for you alone are worthy and you are always good.

though the world sees and soon forgets, we will not forget who you are and what you've done for us".

Why has these songs ment so much to me? well, they just speak so much into the "season" I am walking in right now! In a little over two months I will graduate from Taylor College, and please God also be commisioned with Church Army. And so, for the past while, more speciffically this intire month, I have really been strugeling to lay down my plans, for God's plans. I know God's plan's are so much better then mine, it is just difficult because I care so much about where I am at now. A few weeks back I attended a Deliverance service, and one of the songs played was No Sacrifice. As soon as the song was being played I began to weep, and there was NO way I could sing that song that night. When I finally managed to get words to come out of my mouth, it was no more than a wisper, and that night, the song No Sacrifice became a prayer that came from Deep Within, instead of just one of those songs I really liked hearing.

As for the song Where You Go I'll Go, well, that is what I ultimatly want, to go were God wants me to Go, to speak what he is asking me to speak, and to pray what he has asked me to pray! And well, once one surrenders their dreams and future , and even their past and present, it is ALOT easier to say Yes and Amen to everything God has for me. Once I trust him compleatly, it will be easier to have the boldness needed to speak what God has asked me to!

Father God, I pray that you would continually help me surender my plans and hopes and dreams, and help me to leave them with you, and trust You in the plans You have for me. I pray that I would trust You so much, I would be able to step out, and do what you have called me to do, I pray I would not be held back by eartly comfort, but would alow God to be my comfort, my rock, my fortress, my sheild, my joy and strength. I am once again laying down my life, my agenda, take my life and let it be, concecrated Lord for Three! In Jesus Name, Amen!

A Day of Rest!

How many of you blog readers out there actually take a day of rest? I know I don't, at least not as much as i should anyways! Even when i take a day to rest I end up working on assignments! I never really saw anything wrong with it, till I got this cold! I have been pushing myself to keep going, and as a result the cold has not gotten better. finally today after hearing from amny people I need to rest I called my placement and seen if I could not come in, which they agreed with! So I have been resting for the whole day! I have not even worked on pappers, just rested! I know I should be making the best of my time, but I will get back into the swing of things tomorow, and hopefully this one day of rest will be what my body needed to overcome this cold!

Driving School part two!

So this past weekend I went back for my second week of driving school training! It was a little more intence then the first weekend! I actually really strugeled! The information was common sence and all, but I just started freaking out. He gave us this worksheet where it was written out senerios, and we had to tell how these vehicles could have avoided the crashes! I knew the habits and sub-habits and yet I could not seem to place them with the senerio, I got even more frusterated when the instructor told us our final test would be the same thing! I started to freak out and panic, I knew I needed a 70% and I started to feel like I could not get it, no matter how much I studied! when I got home I was in a rut, I ended up lying down in the fetal position and just crying for a while! I like that my roomates are understanding and who stand by you! Because they got me through! Sunday was a little easier! But still I was freaked! I am afraid that any wrong mve behind the wheel could take a life! Or hurt someone! Or cause an accidant. I think part of it might have been as part of out training we reviewd worse case senerios. Now here I am two days after classes ended, and thinking rationally again! I still feel uneasy about going driving for the first time, but I have a few more days to prepare for it! My lesson was suppose to be friday, but they called today and asked if I could change it, so now it is not till 4:30 on sunday! So it should be good!