Tonight!

Tonight a bunch of us went to the chapel to worship. It was awesome. I had such a great time with God! It started off as like crying out to God seeking Him, and just worshiping and praising Him! Which is great in itself, but then it was suggested we pray for on another! That’s when things got, well, really intense, but in a good way! When people were praying for me, I literally fell to the floor in shock. It was crazy conformation. Christian says the word Ninja, and then Sky gets the word nun chucks! Sound familiar? Yah, the same thing that was spoken over me this summer! Holy Cow, confirmation like nuts, All I could do was laugh; like I just laughed for so long it was crazy! (I know many of you reading this now might think I am nuts, but oh well!) Oh and then how I had been feeling for so long inside of me and have not told ANYONE sky prayed into it! She had a vision of me dancing and just waving these big banners. And she said how though I was dancing tonight, I have to let go, I have to cast out the fear. And how perfect love casts out all fear. And that when I was vulnerable and obedient to that that I would begin to be a leader for others to feel free to worship! And how when I am dancing and jumping it is like I am stomping all over the devil! :D That’s rightà The DEVIL has NO authority over me! The cross of Christ and the Blood Christ shed for me has won the victory, and it is because of that that the only fear I should have is a fear of the LORD! Then we were just soaking in God’s presence, and there were only four of us left there, and well, God decided he was not done with us, oh no God was defiantly not done with us! I was praying with another student, and then we both just lid down, soaking and enjoying the presence of God, and well, that’s when I brake out laughing. And I laughed so hard and so long I was almost sick, and then once I got laughing, well, I started rolling! It was nuts! Awesome and amazing but nuts! I am SOOOOO Sore but it was worth it! It was an awesome night and hopefully we can do this more often! God you are so awesome and amazing, and you work in mysterious and on explainable ways! I thank you and praise you for that LORD! Thank you for your unending love and compassion and kindness and patience and grace and mercy! May I continue to walk in step with you and your will for my life. And may I never stop seeking you!

today at work

I had an amazing day. In the morning was quiet and reflective. :D The afternoon was kinda quiet and relaxing and fast all at the same time. Before I knew it, it was supper time. and I experianced my first ever...napkin fight! It was SOOOOO funny! I was laughing so hard my chest hurt. And It felt like I was laughing for a good 1/2 hour! So far I have really liked my third year placement. I am sure some days will be hard, and I am sure some days will feel slow and long, (actually one day already did and that was the day I was starting to get super sick) but over all I think it will be a good year where I will learn alot! I love working with everyone there!

How is it?

How is it that you can have an amazing time with God, feel refreshed and renewed, and yet within a half an hour to an hour feel so down and blah! And how is it that you can be in the same room as your housemates and yet so far away and distant? It just does not make sense to me, all I know is that’s how I feel!

Uptown!
Tonight, after getting back from first aid I was mentally and spiritually drained, and I new I needed to worship God. I went to the uptown service, which now feels like home to me. And it was so amazing. I felt so refreshed. The service had a special anointing, and I could just feel God’s presence so much, it was so good to be ministered to by God threw the service. God is so great! :D Next week is the second anniversary of uptown. It is hard to believe uptown has been around for two years, yet at the same time it is amazing. There will be a guy getting baptized there next Sunday, as well as one of the other guys, that we got to know well this summer, was baptized this past Thursday which was awesome, I was so happy to hear that! It was really good to be back at Uptown, and see the people I have started to build relationships with over the summer, and I really hope I can keep going!

First Aid Part 2!

Today was a good day. Long but good. I learnt so much, that I don’t know if I will remember it all, but I am sure if I ever do have to use it, I will recall it…though pray that I never have to use it. Today we did a review of CPR and then we started talking about head and neck injuries, we got the opportunity to learn hands on how to hold the neck, head, and shoulders, how to put the neck collar on, and how to put them on the back bored, as well as how to properly strap them in place. We learnt how to treat abrasions, lacerations, and a couple of other things like that. We learnt how to wrap and dress a wound, as well as putting on a sling. We learnt how to treat 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree burns. We learnt what to do if someone drove something into them and it is still in them. We learnt how to deal with poisons, and my favorite part…how to deliver a baby in an emergency situation. Oh and we learnt how to deal with people who have diabetes, as well as epilepsy, and also people with heat stroke and hypothermia. So there was a lot packed in today. At the end of the day we had a test, and I got 90% I couldn’t believe it. I was so happy and proud, but not the bad kind of proud the good kind.

Running away from God!

Tonight I realized something. I have been avoiding and I have been running away from God. Ever since I have got back from Newfoundland I have felt for the most part distant from God, even when I am getting in His word, I just feel nothing, empty, dry, and distant. I even really struggled with my first service this year, especially with the talk, and figuring out what to write. I couldn’t really figure out why, or well, being completely honest here and with my self, I was avoiding why! I have over the past while, felt like I needed to spend time with God. Felt like I needed to start reading again, not just the bible, but my personal books that I started reading this summer and got so much out of. Feeling like I needed to spend time worshiping and praying to God. But did I…No, I kept avoiding it, hanging out with the girls, or doing other things. Yah, the reason I have been so dry is because I have been lying to myself, I have been avoiding or running away form what I know I needed to do! So tonight, after getting home from TEC and after writing for a bit, I started praying. Asking God to forgive me for running away and avoiding Him, asking for his forgiveness (again) for the wrongs things that happened while I was home. Just asking Him to help me stay focused on Him and asking Him to give me the desire to go deeper with Him. Then I picked up a book that Reed recommended me to read and take a look at…It is called recognize your spiritual authority. I have only read the first chapter which is on overcoming intimidation, but it is really good, and I can understand why he recommended me to read it, or at least I think I understand why! Anyway yah, after I read that book I am going to go back and begin to get back to reading my other two books big girls don’t whine, and Lady in waiting: becoming the woman God wants you to be while waiting for Mr. right! So it has been good reconnecting with God. I have got to stop running, and I took the first step toward that tonight.

TEC Reunion:

After a day of training for CPR and First Aid, I came home feeling drained and tired, yet kinda happy cause I got home early enough to go to the TEC celebration. TEC celebration was awesome. It was kinda refreshing. I love everyone that I go to school with, but sometimes it is just nice to see other faces. And it was so weird for me to be called by name by people who have only met me once or twice, and yet I feel like included and welcomed, and for me a relief that I have friends outside the college. (Though I don’t keep in touch with them, sorry guys, I will try to do better) A good friend of mine spoke into my life tonight and gave me some really good advice, as well as reminding me that things were going to be ok, (God how I love her; she has changed my life so much just by knowing heràyou know who you are) At one point tonight I felt like I should have got prayer but kinda didn’t and then missed the opportunity, but oh well, can’t kick myself for it! When we were worshiping after supper the neatest and craziest thing happened to me…I was beginning to pray quietly to God confessing how distant I have been from him lately, and just really asking to hear from Him, and to hear His truth, cause that is really really really what I needed to hear, and the next few songs they sang after that was filled with the truth of God. For example they sang this song talking about how we have a master and he created us. So it was special and awesome! Also it was encouraged for us to be real. And I started to really look at myself and ask myself how real I was being. And yah it was just a good thing to evaluate and it was good to think about it. So yah, to all you TEC people…I love you all!

First Aid:

I started my first aid training today! I went in with a lot of fear and reservation. It took me a while to worm up, but coming out of Day one I feel like I have a lot less fear. I still feel like I am not sure of things and feel really apprehensive. But with time I am sure it will get easier. Today was mainly about CPR, and tomorrow is mainly first aid. I feel like if I have to I could help and do something in a situation now, with that being said I pray that I never have to use it. Tomorrow is going to be more hands on, not that today was not hands on, but it was more practicing on dummies, tomorrow, not so much! But I am sure I will make it through and at the end of the tomorrow be certified in First Aid and CPR!

Joy

Have you ever had an experience when you just feel Joy? Well, the past two days all I have felt is pure Joy! Not a joy as in happy, though yes I was happy. But a joy that flows from deep inside of me. A Joy that cause me to want to laugh and smile at all times, a joy that seems to just light me and worm me inside. It is really something I can not describe yet it is awesome and amazing and I don’t ever really remember feeling like this before or at least for this long! And with that joy comes Peace, not the Peace of this world, but God’s peace, peace that passes all understanding! And it also brings me new fresh and renewed strength! (The Joy of The Lord is my strength) God Your Awesome and amazing and all praises belong to you!

Thanks for all those who have been praying for me, they have made a world of difference!

Ethics -->kingdom ethics

We have had one class of ethics so far, and on friday we will have another one! I think i am going to need a mirical to make it through the course. I feel like I need a dictionary just to read the book! it will be brutal! anyway i am jetting! i just wanted to say ethics is going to be super hard!

Someone come and rescue me from this boring week. Being sick is no fun! :P I have no energy. I am staying in bed alot, because i do not want to get others sick! Me being in bed cause I have no energy = me sleeping alot. me sleeping alot during the day = crappy night time sleeping! I geuss being sick does have some benifits though, like i had the time to read my book for 1 Timothy, as well as now i have a whole day to read ethics! :D I think the timothy book has been putting me to sleep cause i get really sleepy everytime i pick it up to read it, but i only have like 4 pages left to read so i will do that after bloging! Being sick also gives me the time to update my blog (yay to all those bloggers who have been asking me to update) And it gives me the chance to look at other blogs as well! Anyway, I am signing off now!

Third year meetings!

Bah, tonight I found out through other students that the third years have meetings all day tomorow with Bruce, Paul, and Rob, and for all you non church army officers reading this, they our the national and reginal directors for church army. they are about posting for after commisioning i am awsuming. however i never knew about the meetings and i never got a ledder like the rest of the third ear students. Does this surprise me...not really. Does it stink...deffently. I know i messed up alot in the past two years, and as musch as i wish i could turn back time and take it all back, i can't! See I geuss somewhere deep down inside when i found out i could finish my training, i hoped that there might be a slight chance I could somehow redeam myself. however knowing the rest of the third years are having meatings about postings and I am not, is making me face the reality that I am not church army. It makes me wonder if I can ever redeem myself. Now with that being said I am not going to just give up, I am going to continue to work my but off all year and so i can alot graduate with a diploma in Mission and Evangelism! The funny thing is I feel numb. I leard this summer that those things which I was looking into doing last year was compltly fleshly desires, and not of God. I shared with Jen and Chris, as they were praying with me during the national church army confrence, that even though I know I didn't want to be part of church army at the end of the year, I also can't see myslef anywhere else. I know that probrably dosen't make sence to alot of people, but it is how i feel. Anyway, I geuss I really really really no matter how hard it is, surender this situation to God, and wait and see, and pray that God shows me the plan he has for me, and pray for God's peace as i wait to hear from Him, and just continue to trust that there is something out there for me! Your orayers would be apreshiated as I try to figgure things out!

Anti Depresiants

well next month it would have been a year snece i have been on Anti Depresents. It took me a long time to get used to taking them, an even longer time for me to tell anyone, and well my family is still not ok with my decision. I learnt this summer that Elijah sufferfed from depression as well. And so i began to ask my team members to pray for freedom from depresion. And all seemed to have worked it has been close to three weeks sence i have taken any medacation for depresion, and ok, yes i should have talked to my doctor about going off of them instead of just stoping, but for the most part i still feel fine. The past nights i have been a little upset but nothing a good cry could not handel. I still have them incase I need them and I am montering myslef relativly closely, and so hopefully I will not have to live in the bondage of depression again! Please keep me in your prayers as I take things a day at a time. Take Care and GOd Bless, Susan!